If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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