it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
