well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
