my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
