Just cropdusted the office
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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