i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we're making bets on your personal life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He shit in the fireplace
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
