Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have aggressive nipples.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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