Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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