I'm so fucking centered right now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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