i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
