sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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