No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
