Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
