We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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