But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
