I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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