Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
