The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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