He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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