If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
