just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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