Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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