did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize