and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
