i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize