so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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