i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
