so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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