:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
