I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
