so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
