when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
