So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
its liver damage thursday
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