i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
