Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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