it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
