I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
