bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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