More tranny stories later!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You made out with two different species that night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
