so that wasnt chicken after all
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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