I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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