Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
