Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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