It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
