I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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