Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
