Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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