We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
