He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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