a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize