I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
