it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize