Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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