Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
