new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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