just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
