Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
