my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
please don't ironically join a cult
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