Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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