Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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