Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize