It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
