We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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