I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
