What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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