Buhtt sex?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
