is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just cropdusted the office
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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