Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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