PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so let's talk penis.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize