Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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