I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
