this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
