Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
