office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
