i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
